The parable of the missing pendant

When each of my sons were born, and while recovering in the hospital, I was given a piece of jewelry from my mother in law. This made me feel so special in a time of exhaustion and especially a time I didn’t feel so pretty. With Josh’s birth I received a beautiful antique diamond necklace and with Caleb a filigree diamond ring. I loved to wear these treasures and knew that someday when my boys had their first child, I would pass along each treasure to their future wives.
In the process of the move to Switzerland a year previously, the diamond necklace didn’t make it. I don’t know if it was in the box of jewelry that didn’t make it overseas or if it somehow got left in the hotel room in Ireland I was staying at before arriving in Zurich. About once a week, the thought nags at me even now and I ponder where it could be. I have been through all my possessions in my house and still cannot find it. I have made phone calls and sent emails. I tell myself it shouldn’t be so important, after all, it is just an earthly possession, but I cannot let it go from my mind.
My anti-Mormon mother-in-law was rarely pleased with me, yet she entrusted me with it. It was the most valuable piece of jewelry I ever owned. I wore it for job interviews, my first date in Europe and my graduation in Milwaukee. My mother in law has long passed on, but I have such a feeling of tenderness whenever I wear her gifts. I know that she is pleased with me now; except with her necklace gone there seems to be an emptiness that nothing can replace.
The loss has made me ponder: what does this necklace represent to me and why is it so important? I think of the parable of the missing silver piece, (Luke 15: 8-10) how the woman searched her house until it was found. I suppose this missing treasure could represent a person, like the lost sheep, or perhaps something less tangible, like a message or feeling God wants us to understand, or maybe like the parable of the talents, it is a gift from God that is waiting for me to reclaim it. I believe it could also represent a responsibility that God means for me to fulfill or a heavenly quality or blessing that He wants me to possess.
Moral Inventory

I did not know that my necklace was missing until weeks later when I wanted to wear it. Likewise, the woman in the parable did not know she had one silver piece missing until she counted the money. When I worked at a fabric store we spent a week every year where we would count every item in the store to see what the store had. This was a long, sometimes tedious process that required a lot of paperwork, but it was necessary to ensure that the store was profitable and not losing money due to theft or mismanagement.

When I was first married, my husband led us in what he called companionship inventories. I never served a mission, but apparently this is something that you do to help each other work better as a team. In our case we had a meeting weekly to set goals and together, monitor progress and discuss ways to strengthen our bond as husband and wife. Unfortunately as those habits died, he slipped out of church and our marriage covenant.
In later years I learned about other kinds of Inventories that are similarly useful. When I became a teacher, I learned that it is important to reflect on one’s effectiveness and keep careful records for each child in order to improve. I also attended a 12 step program and found one important part is to make a searching moral inventory of yourself and all your faults and weaknesses so that you know what to build from and also to continue this process. I found in my life that my problems would get worse without an honest analysis of my soul. Also part of an inventory is gratitude—counting blessings is the best thing to keep track ofJ
I know that when I make time to keep such inventories in my life, whether it be in the spiritual or worldly dimension, I have the strength and light that I need to do a better job in my dual roles as mother and provider to my two sons. If a problem is not identified, then I become stagnant and unhappy because my progress is blocked. It is like trying to satisfy thirstiness with more food. I can see that unless I ponder and reflect upon what is amiss in my life, I am neither able to identify the problem nor resolve it.

Inviting the spirit
Upon realizing the loss, the first thing the woman in the parable did was light a candle so that she could search her house. It is interesting to note that she had light to guide her in finding what was missing. I can see a parallel to this method of finding things that are missing which my spirit needs. The light represents enlightenment and knowledge found from a heavenly source. Lighting a candle could be synonymous with prayer, meditation, fasting, or reading the scriptures because it is by doing these things that we receive information beyond our own selves. When I lost my necklace, I knew I needed to call the hotel and see if they had it, I also needed light as I searched through every drawer, compartment and cabinet in my house. And as foolish as it may sound to some, I did pray about it.
I am not able to find these spiritual treasures alone. Heavenly Father wants me to work with him as a partner so that I may reclaim the blessings that become mine when I faithfully seek His will. When I seek to light this Heavenly flame by developing a relationship with the Savior, I am blessed with His spirit to guide me whenever the way is unsure and am strengthened in times of discouragement. I have discovered that my most challenging tribulations were exacerbated by not dealing with my emotions or stress in a way that is conducive to the spirit.


Sweeping the house

Just like the thought nagged at me for months to call the hotel to check, I am equally unhappy when I sense something amiss and do nothing to identify and act upon the problem. The next step is cleansing. When I first looked for the necklace, I got things out, but did not put them back in their place, leaving me even more frustrated when the day ended with more disorder than it started with. That was not a long-term solution; I remained unsure that I had checked everything, so I went through the same areas again. When I started my search anew on another day, I realized that I had to clean as I go. Likewise, when I go through my difficulties and mistakes, faults and weaknesses with the Lord, I should try to deal with each issue individually, rather than compound things further. When I saw that a certain area was organized and clean, I knew when I double-checked that I didn’t need to disturb it again in my search.
Speaking of losses, I am reminded of a couple of other scripture sayings, one being he who loses himself shall find it. I personally have been able to fill the void I feel in my life by helping others around me. As a single mom, I don't have much, but when I give my little mite, I have more than enough in my life. I have found that the greatest solutions have come to me when I am really immersed in the needs and interests of another. This is part of God’s plan: that we learn from each other some of the most important truths we may carry with us.
Another part of the Journey is learning when to let go. I have been guilty of holding onto things that are not worth anything, such as thwarted hopes and dreams, disappointment, rejection, loss, and advice from well-meaning people that doesn’t apply to my situation. I have found greater treasure by letting go of grudges and bitterness and rejoicing in the blessings the Lord has given me. I have found that only after clearing out the clutter of negativity and pride does it become possible to find the real treasures that lurk within life’s experiences.

Finding the lost treasure
I wish I could say that I found the pendant after my search, but a year later I have something far more valuable—I discovered a way to find and keep heavenly treasure. The last thing the woman did was celebrate with her friends. This step I believe is very important. This can be done in many ways, such as sharing experiences with friends, recording growth in journals, bearing testimonies of personally learned truths, and allowing my children to share in these fruits. I have found that “celebrating” allows others to experience this elation and perhaps empower them to begin their own search for such valuable treasures.
The parable ends with a reminder that there is joy in heaven over one sinner that repents. Likewise I believe there is great joy when one is able to overcome even the smallest bad habit and replace it with something of more divine worth. These experiences in life are designed as a guide to finding eternal blessings—but I can only find such treasure if I am grateful for what I have, make an exhaustive spiritual search for what is found lacking and allow the Savior’s words to become an active part of daily living. In the end, one joyful example is like a flame, beckoning others to seek for the Spirit in their personal lives.
I am grateful for the challenges I have faced because I have found new talents, strength and love from above as I have sought the Lord’s help in finding the treasures that are missing in my life. I have felt Jesus Christ wipe my painful tears and give me strength to go forward. I know that happiness does not come from earthly gifts, like having extra money, good friends, well-mannered children, or even silky Swiss chocolate. Happiness is a gift from God when we choose to give our will to Him. To me, this is more valuable and beautifying than a million diamond necklaces.

sidenote: so I did find the necklace 18 months later, right when the Lord felt I was ready to apply these lessons in my life. Even though I have a lot of nice jewelry, I rarely take it off after I put it on, just as I try not to remain in foggy confusion when I sense that something is missing is my life.
--Liza Zmolek wRight

The parable of the rotten raspberries

Several years ago when I lived in Colorado I was taking voice lessons from a woman in my church and in exchange I would help with gardening and household chores. One experience that stands out in my mind was the raspberry jam I learned to make by helping her. Terri had some sort of a deal with the local grocer to take the old produce off their hands free of charge. These fruits and vegetables were in too bad a condition to be sold; sometimes they still looked good, but other times the cartons were dotted with fuzzy decaying specimens. One evening I helped her with countless flats of raspberries, most of which were covered in mold. I helped her sort the good ones from the bad.
I can remember, as each berry passed through my hands thinking this was such a waste of time to “rescue the good berries” from all the rotten ones. It was like surgery: removing the mold and saving the miniscule good parts. Sometimes there were only a couple decent raspberries in each plastic carton. I had to leave before all the raspberries were sorted, but the next time I saw her, I was given some tasty raspberry jam. The mold that I worked so hard to remove was forgotten and my family enjoyed this jam for months.
As I recall this experience today, I first think of the atonement. I know that Jesus Christ has the power to take things deemed unsalvageable and transform them into something precious. But for some reason I keep thinking of the parable of the talents. As I think of how my friend took something of little value and turned it into something delicious, I must ask myself: am I grateful for everything in my possession, including my trials and responsibilities? And am I able to take everything the Lord gives me in my life, the good and the bad, and turn it into something better?
When I was younger, this parable was my favorite. I was blessed with many talents in art, music, and language and saw this allegory as a divine invitation to better myself and work toward accomplishing all my big goals and dreams in relation to these interests and abilities. But between my days of youthful idealism and the later humbling trials, I have found some additional, more subtle insights from in this parable that make me wonder if I am truly being a good steward. The parable had three components: receiving the gifts, then making an increase of them, and reckoning that increase with the Lord. I have seen parallels with this parable to living a life close to God.
What are the talents the Lord given me?
The parable mentions that the lord was leaving his goods to his servants. Then he gives them varying amounts of talents. Obviously these were gifts that included responsibility. It is true that having recognizable special talents and abilities also have responsibilities to develop them, but I have received many gifts from God that are not wrapped in such glittering accouterments. Those gifts must also be developed and often it is not recognized as a gift without additional time and divine counsel.
I find it a gift that I have experienced some difficulties in my life. If my husband had not left me, I would not have learned a lot of things. I certainly would not have earned a Masters degree and moved to Switzerland and become more proficient in additional languages. If I had not worked with children with autism and ADHD, I would not have strived to become a more consistent and understanding parent. If I had not suffered abuse as a child, I would not have learned how Christ can heal even the deepest wounds. Most importantly, if I had not been blessed with family and friends who showed me how to be close to the Lord, I would not have possessed the spiritual recipe needed to transform what is seen simply as rotten berries into more enduring sweetness.

What am I doing to Increase these talents?
I have received many gifts from God in my life: my experiences, my friends around the world, my family, my challenges and responsibilities, my testimony, church callings, and the Heavenly Voice that beckons me on this journey. All of these gifts are like the raw ingredients to make jam or the inspiration behind a work of art. I wish I could say that my path has always been forward and my growth ever-increasing, but I have had many stagnant moments where (like the third servant) I buried it all in the ground. I remember when I was married two years and my husband started having doubts about the existence of God and eventually left his faith behind along with his other lofty goals for our family. I wasted a year of my life in bitterness. I have been given church responsibilities where I did less than my best. I have sometimes let the enormity of my challenges rob me of feeling happy or close to the spirit.
But fortunately the Lord has been patient with me as I figured things out. He gave me friends who invested their love in my struggles. With time and experience I was able to give my will to the Lord who helped me begin to see the bigger picture of His plan for me. There is a purpose for each trial that is rarely obvious until the storm has passed. I am grateful for those angels who helped me in times of despair, poverty and seemingly hopeless situations. From these experiences I have gained a desire to lengthen my stride and help those who are in the midst of similar storms in their life.
The scriptures are full of stories of people from humble beginnings changing the course of history. What if Ruth hadn’t followed her Mother in law? Imagine if Joseph compromised his principles to keep his job in Potipher’s house? What if an anonymous child forgot to bring his loaves and fishes when he followed Jesus? It doesn’t matter if one is blessed with 1, 5 or 10 talents, the most important task is to invest what life has given us into Heavenly Father’s care (or in other words, following his counsel) Only He can compound small and simple goodness into wealth that is everlasting.
Everyone has their own unique strengths and weaknesses that are part of the refining process that takes place when earthly life and heaven merge. God did not gift David with being large in stature, but with his faith in the Lord, he slew his giant, just as we can overcome seemingly insurmountable circumstances. I am given hope by the stories of others’ triumphs over adversity. My favorite children’s book is called Wilma Unlimited and it details how Wilma Rudolph became the world’s fastest woman. An African American girl born prematurely into poverty in the Jim Crow south and later suffering polio, she was eventually able to walk and later run in the Olympics. Her faith in God and the strength of her parents and 22 siblings was a big part of her achievement.
I now see that the parable of the talents not only refers to actual gifts, but responsibilities the Lord has for each individual. I have had times in my life where I somehow felt off-course. Perhaps I wasn’t really doing anything wrong, but later found I was missing some divine message or task meant for me. Most of the time these are little things: a scripture that hits me where I need it the most, not procrastinating a visit to a friend, sending a card of appreciation, or reaching out to someone out of my comfort zone. These little thoughts, realizations and things to do are like plain postcards in my fast-paced, multimedia mailbox, that can be missed if I am not looking. Like Jonah, I have sometimes learned the hard way about heeding the seemingly small, yet important promptings.
Accounting before God
In the parable the servants are called to show how well they invested their Lord’s wealth, just as I am sure we will all give an accounting of how we spent our time, talents, and blessings before our maker. Fortunately the Lord will tell me how I am doing each step of the way, when I ask. Happily we are blessed with a constant heavenly companion when we strive to make good choices. Like Gideon who continued to ask for a witness, I know we can also confidently go before God for clarification until we are sure of each decision.
I had a glimpse of what I hope my final day of accounting is like:
This job I had in Switzerland could be compared to working in an emotional combat zone. Imagine giving a nice lesson, and your boss walking in and yelling at a child that is leaning against a wall or criticizing you for a scratch on a desk. As you can imagine, this whole school has this spirit of negativity because the employees are always so burdened. Within this charged environment, my job has been to teach English and math to Swiss 8-10 year-olds who have a low or nonexistent level in both subjects. I have succumbed to wallowing in the discouragement at times—but then I somehow summoned all my strength to get up and keep fighting. Sometimes I have looked back on my efforts and wish I could have done more, but then I say to myself I did the best I knew how.
A month ago, two parents came in with their children to say goodbye. These parents saw the problems, tried to work with the management and ended up finding another school. They sent a detailed letter listing the emotional and physical abuse and how this runs so contrary to the Montessori philosophy. They praised the teachers and said that they stayed at the school longer because of our hard work. They brought treats for the class and flowers to the teachers and said they wanted me to continue teaching their children English.
As I spoke about this to another teacher, I said I imagine this is what heaven would be like: you probably don’t realize how good your best is until it is all over. When I said those words, she said she had goosebumps. I started to pull my sleeve up to show her mine. This gave me the strength to keep putting all my effort into productive things and less on worry as even darker clouds gathered at my workplace.
I hope as I encounter more storms, I will always cling to the sunny side and make the best of my circumstances by seeking the Lord’s vision and making my choices accordingly. I know that with new eyes, I can make the most of my earthly and heavenly possessions and experiences, just like a grain of sand is turned into a pearl of great price, a bit of bread feeds thousands, or discarded, seemingly rotten raspberries are turned into sweet and delicious jam meant to be shared. I am grateful for the friends who see the good behind all my faults and those all over the world who work tirelessly to invest in those who seem unsalvageable.